


A Culinary Calamity

by OKami_hu, oksammich



Category: Green Lantern: The Animated Series
Genre: Bad Cooking, Fluff, Friendship, Gen, Pain
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-01
Updated: 2021-01-01
Packaged: 2021-03-10 20:27:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,138
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28473141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OKami_hu/pseuds/OKami_hu, https://archiveofourown.org/users/oksammich/pseuds/oksammich
Summary: Stopping for a moment on their journey, the Interceptor crew is treated to a feast, but it doesn't go entirely smoothly. Wanting to somewhat ease the unpleasant experience, Aya embarks on a culinary journey...
Relationships: Aya & Razer (Green Lantern)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 3





	A Culinary Calamity

While there was definitely a bigger threat to the known universe than this, a Green Lantern helped where he could. For example with huge asteroids blasting through space unstoppably, threatening a fellow Lantern's home planet.

The fellow Lantern, the pretty white Pooka named Hi-Ju had her leporine paws full with a horde of pirates that kept on kidnapping people from her village, so she couldn't join the Interceptor crew on their quest of saving Guardian Space, no matter how much she'd have liked it. However, she offered all the supplies the ship could need and that counted. Hal was definitely sick of canned food by now. He declared that it was going to be dinnertime just after they blasted that blasted rock hurling through the void.

It wasn't even that much of a challenge for the four of them. The three green beams and the red one smashed the asteroid to pieces at a safe distance. The particles, if they ever reached any of the planet, or the orbiting inhabited moons' atmospheres would do nothing more than give the population a lovely light show.

Hi-ju suggested they pick through the debris as asteroids in this area often contained valuable metals and crystals. So Hal, Kilowog, and Razer spread out to inspect the stones.

A few lumps of shimmering ore and glittering gems later, Hal happened across something that seemed a little out of space. Sort of literally.

"Guys, check this out! What could this thing be, some kinda space- fungus?"

"I've never been much of a plant-eater, but it actually looks intriguing," Kilowog stated as he eyed the blue clumps with red spots on them. They were rather reminiscent of his favorite insect's carapace.

"They remind me of this mushroom on my home planet. Those were dangerous, so I'm sure it'd be better not to touch it," Razer advised grimly, tapping at his chin.

"What great fortune, my friends." Hi-Ju glided toward them with her short ears pricked up, brown eyes reflecting the lights of their rings like stars themselves. She still held her Pooka-sized longbow grasped in her right paw but slid it aside as she reached to take one of the small mushrooms. "These are Crystal Caps, have you ever tried them?"

She turned her gaze to the men, who shook their heads in return. "They are a species of mushroom that rarely make it to this part of Frontier Space. I believe they originated from a source in the Forgotten Zone--" Hi-Ju paused to delicately sink her big front teeth into the cap. "Ah, so fresh and delicious! They are a delicacy on our planet, but I believe it would be a waste not to use them now."

Almost giddily, she floated around the rock to harvest each and every Crystal Cap from their fragile hold on the rocks. "Our planet has been saved thanks to you. It would be my honor to personally prepare a feast for all of you! Please, if you would help me pick them..."

"Count me in!" Kilowog thumped a fist against his chest. "I was getting tired of cold worms. These things smell delicious even to me! And I've seen some really nice fat bugs near your village..." He flew off, picking the mushrooms.

"A feast does sound good, right?" Hal smiled at Razer, who just shrugged lightly. Of course, he was agreeing, and probably the Pookas had a lot better table manners than a certain drill sergeant he knew. He still didn't trust those fungi though. Then again, he saw Hi-Ju bite into one... Those mushrooms back on Volkreg's subterranean caves could take one's head clean off.

Hal raised his ring. "Jordan to Aya. Ran into any trouble?"

"Minor firefight ensued between the Interceptor and some pirates," the AI's artificial but pleasant voice rang through the line. "They were damaged but left to retreat. What are your further orders, Green Lantern Hal Jordan?"

"Bring the ship to Hi-Ju's village and join us. We're having dinner."

\----

The village itself was located on one of the moons. While the planet was mostly industrialized, here, the Pookas devoted their lives to agriculture, using high technology to achieve their goals but it blended so seamlessly with the environment, it was hard to notice. Hal quite liked it; the surroundings reminded him of Earth's Orient, from the pagoda-like houses to the cherry trees. A nearby lake provided Kilowog with an ample dinner, which he carried to the kitchen much to the chef's horror. He steeled himself though and began to make a meal out of insects according to Kilowog's instructions. He even admitted that in ancient times, when the crops were struck by a disaster, the Pookas consumed insects as well, to survive. That resulted in a deep conversation about unusual culinary experiments.

The other two, Hal and Razer, were dragged away under Hi-Ju's specific orders: there was a celebration to be had and both were to be dressed for it. They were a bit taller, and in Hal Jordan's case, broader than even a large Pooka male, so their precise measurements were needed for their village's best tailor, Lon Le, to make some quick alterations.

Hi-Ju was never one to leave any person out, even if that person was.. not. Aya, the petite AI, became her assistant in the kitchen and watched with occasional comments as Hi-Ju sautéed the Crystal Caps with exotic spices and a bit of oil.

"You know, Aya," she said over the crackling of the savory dish, "You're about the same size as I am."

The AI nodded just once. "Affirmative. Our differences in height and weight are negligible, extremities notwithstanding."

Hi-Ju giggled, tossing the contents of the huge pan in a circular, practiced motion. "It's settled then! I have the perfect clothing for you to wear to the feast."

"I do not understand, Green Lantern Hi-Ju."

"What's to understand? Everyone gets dressed up for our celebrations, even guests."

"It was not my intention to attend. As an artificial being, I am unable to ingest any type of food, so there is no reason for my appearance."

Hi-Ju shook her head and pulled the pan from over the fire. "Aya, will you bring that blue dish over here? Yes, thanks." As she poured the sautéed mushrooms over a bed of greens, she looked up to that passive, pretty face. "You're just as much a hero as the other three. Won't you allow us to honor you?"

"While I am inclined to disagree," Aya said after a moment, "I must admit I am curious as to your peoples' festivities."

"It's settled then!"

After covering the mushrooms with a special lid to remove condensation, she seized Aya's hand. "Let's get you dressed up!"

\---------

"I don't see why any of this is necessary," Razer muttered in Hal's direction. Somehow this was his fault.

Hal Jordan just laughed, though, completely at ease in his long green robe and bare feet, reclined on pillows with a sprig of berries in one hand and a cup of tea in the other. They were surrounded by crescent-shaped tables, piled high with covered dishes. In front of them was a small arena, where a few female Pooka had gathered to apparently giggle in their direction.

Razer had been forced to wear a ridiculous black robe, made of some silken material that was too light to keep him warm. On this forever-spring planet, the Pooka probably had no need for heavy clothing.

"I've never seen anyone look so damn unhappy about free food," Kilowog chortled from the other side of Hal Jordan, looking at home in a lavish golden robe embroidered in blue. "Why don't you relax?"

Any retort was cut off by a sudden sound of music, a beautiful flute that quieted the area. Dozens of Pooka had arrived in their celebration best, and sat down around the outside of the arena, facing their guests of honor. As the music continued, the females from before lined up two by two, and in synchronized step, moved toward the heroes in a slow, easy dance. They split apart a few feet from the main table, moving to the side in perfect tandem, until there were only two women left: Hi-Yu, in a short white costume to match the dancers, and Aya herself, in a ground-length pink robe with a white sash. The back of her sash was tied into an intricate bow, with tiny golden ornaments pinning it into place. Unlike the male robe, her sleeves were long enough to cover her hands, which only made her look even smaller.

Her blue eyes were strangely listless as if she was unsure of herself. She held a huge armful of pink, yellow, and white flowers, the width almost dwarfing her diminutive size. 

"Greetings!" Hi-Ju called, spreading her arms out so she became the focus of attention, "We have the great honor of celebrating another day of peace, thanks to the efforts of these four heroes! Tonight as we feast, let us keep gratitude in our hearts for their selfless actions, and let us bless them in their journeys!"

The crowd erupted into cheers, then chanting-- a blessing in the Pooka language. "For tonight, I and the other Maidens of the Hills will perform one of our greatest tales of triumph: the Ode of the Last Harvest!"

Music began again, which was apparently Aya's cue to move. She took tiny, even steps to a mound of pillows at Razer's side, and after placing the flowers on the ground, sat down in a neat cross-legged position. Hi-Ju and her troupe twirled in front of them, dancing their people's most-beloved story, so finally, Aya could resume her internal processing.

"Masters!" A little Pooka boy tottered forward, arms laden with the blue dish. "The Crystal Caps are prepared!"

He laid them in the center of the table, the only spot still open. "Please enjoy!"

For a while, little was discussed, as everybody all but threw themselves at the delicacies - politely, of course. Even Kilowog had the mind to at least lift his bowl from the table before plunging his face into it.

Two Pooka Maidens accompanied Hal and after his plate was clean, they began to compete for his attention by offering more food, a refill, a flirtatious comment and they also pleaded for stories. Hal was all too eager to relate some of his adventures to them.

Razer ate as always, with a straight back, taking neat, bite-sized pieces from his plate and chewing them well. For all his concerns, he was forced to admit that the weird fungus tasted wonderful. It was spicy but not too strong, and it blended harmoniously with the garnish. He preferred meat in his diet, but Pookas were mostly vegetarian. Still, he was pleased by the fresh, home-made food and allowed himself a contented sigh as he washed the last bites off with a sweet, lightly alcoholic beverage.

He glanced at the AI who still sat next to him, watching the festivities unfold with an unwavering gaze.

"Are you enjoying yourself?"

She had not moved for the duration of the performance, seated next to him like a little lotus flower herself. When he spoke, she turned her attention from the dancing to his face, unblinking blue eyes studying him. "I believe so, however, I find that I feel 'out of place', as you put it."

Aya looked back to the festivities. "Your skin tone is complemented by the color of your garments. Although your vitals indicate that you are also uncomfortable, do note that your appearance is pleasing to the eye. Your posture is suggestive of a learned warrior with a moment of peace, which is an attractive thought."

Razer blinked and his cheeks gained a faintest pink tinge. "That is very- kind of you to say. You- Are rather... lovely in that attire. It is quite different but nonetheless becoming. The color compliments you as well. The Pookas are apparently keen on aesthetics." He paused for a moment then quietly added: "You look like a princess."

Machines were not supposed to make mistakes, yet Aya was apparently experiencing an error of some sort. She opened her mouth, her plump, soft mouth as if to say something, but nothing emerged. She appeared to have changed her mind.

Her mouth closed, and faintly, she smiled at him. It was a small gesture that didn't touch her eyes (how could it?), yet it managed to soften her features dynamically. "Thank you, Razer."

She broke their strange eye contact to tilt her head toward the arena. There, Hi-Ju, wild-furred from her frenzied dancing, was watching them.

But not just watching.

She had one of those infuriatingly knowing looks in her dark, glittering eyes.

Razer bared his fangs but then he remembered that he was a guest here, and Hi-Ju had been nothing but generous and friendly toward them. The dancing stopped and it appeared that the mingling has started. Razer had seen a few festivals on his homeworld and normally was not opposed to socializing... but that was long ago. By a sudden impulse, he gently touched Aya's shoulder.

"I'd like to take a look around... maybe evaluate defense options against the pirates. Would you like to join me for a walk?"

"I would like that very much." She was incapable of making small-talk, which would be expected of her, no doubt. Pooka strolled toward them, eyes alert and intelligent, but despite her earlier assessment of the female, Hi-Ju was there to stop things from growing any more uncomfortable. She intercepted the group with pleasant chatter, absently waving a hand toward the odd-looking couple.

"Razer," she said as he got to his feet. "May I have some assistance? This garment is burdensome and has become tangled around my legs." She held up her hand for his.

"Of course." He took her hand and pulled lightly.

For a moment, a memory flashed before his mind's eye: Ilana kneeling on the floor, praying then looking up and accepting his hand with a smile...

Blessed lights, why was it so difficult.

He also might have pulled a little more forcefully than necessary.

She rose, but before she could right herself, he pulled her off-balance. Her small foot caught on the hem of the robe, and as she stepped, the tension in the fabric pulled her shoulders down. Aya took another step to recover, but again, the robe was there to wrap around her ankle.

It was unnecessary to make a sound in this situation, yet a surprised "oh!" managed to emerge from her vocal component. She fell forward.

Razer's arms were there, long, slim, and strong. With their support, she was able to find her feet again and stand properly on her own two legs. "Apologies." She could not meet his eyes. Her processors had a reason, she was sure, but they had yet to provide it for her analysis. "If you find it agreeable, I would like to take a closer look at the botanical life near the bodies of water."

"No it was me- I drifted for a moment- I'm sorry. This way." He steered her away, an arm wrapped around her shoulder and a hand curling around her arm. "Are you alright?" The robe, now more opened at the front, revealing the top of her chest plating was even more alluring on her.

The soft yellow lights from the lanterns and the breeze tugging lightly on the pink fabric did little to lessen that appeal. Razer could spot a few Pooka children stalking after them but fortunately, they eventually thought better of it and disappeared.

Their trek led over to a small arched bridge stretching above the stream feeding the lake. Three moons shone on the inky sky, and Razer's keen nose picked up the scent of cherry blossoms.

"I am unhurt." She moved beside him with mechanical ease, barely ruffling the loose fabric around her hips and thighs. It was unnecessary to hold onto him any longer, yet it was... necessary? Her hand lifted to rest across the back of his forearm, which was warm even through the fabric of his sleeve.

This area was quiet and devoid of any Pooka but was flecked with smaller forms of life: fireflies. "Their mating rituals are fascinating," she murmured; she flashed the lights behind her eyes, mimicking the pattern of one firefly that hovered near. "You see?"

For a few moments, they spoke with flashes of light, communicating without words, without sound. She held out her free hand so the lovelorn male could alight onto her fingers, then turned so she could hold it between herself and Razer. "Their light patterns vary from individual to individual, but statistically, there is always a reciprocating partner." Aya tilted her head up and opened her hands, letting him see the male flashing inside. "They are never alone, no matter how different they are."

"That goes for you as well," Razer murmured, his blue eyes lit with a faint glow - by some inner fire and the reflecting moonlight. "You should never feel out of place. No matter how different you are.”

Earlier, he was slightly worried about the cool night air, but local weather proved him wrong. He wasn't cold, not the slightest.

"My home planet has fireflies... Well, truth to be told, they glow in red and they bite and it hurts, but still... They light up the night just like these... But I think I prefer this color." He looked into those bright blue lenses that should have been empty and soulless yet they were not. Heatwave swept over Razer, making him feel strange. He shook himself lightly to get rid of it. He was not going to act like some unmarked cub.

The firefly, weary of her teasing, alighted from her hands and flew lazily upward in a loose, easy spiral. It landed briefly atop the tip of Razer's nose as if contemplating, then flew back toward its comrades, flashing hopefully again.

"I never feel alone." She dropped her hands to her sides, the silk sleeves obscuring her fingertips again. Aya seemed taken with the lights display underneath the fragrant cherry tree.

"Since my inception, Red Lantern Razer has always come for me. Even when it was beneficial for you to leave me behind, you have defied my calculations and returned for me." Aya frowned decidedly. "I feel... safe... with this knowledge."

A graceful, long-legged bird appeared like smoke out of the sky, silently slicing the air, then landing seamlessly in the shallow water. It craned its neck, watching. While she studied it, she shifted her left hand out further than necessary, to ease her sleeve around a wrist. Her fingers curled into his palm.

Razer immediately squeezed them, just lightly of course. Aya was so pretty, she made him feel warm and her fingers fitted perfectly into his hand, it felt so right--

Something was wrong.

He wasn't just warm; he felt hot. Oddly hot and albeit it could have been a likely reason, it wasn't caused by her presence. Razer blinked, shook his head then ground his teeth together as the world went blurry.

The next moment, such a sharp pain stabbed him in the guts that it stole his breath. He even glanced down, expecting a dagger sticking out from his stomach but there was none. At the second wave of pain, his knees buckled, he had to lean on the railing of the bridge.

His heart rate had spiked rather dangerously. When he pulled from her, she also noted a change in his core temperature, which would indicate either an incredible burst of rage or the sudden onset of fever.

"Razer, you are in pain." His readouts were becoming quite alarming. "Allow me to take you to the medical ward."

She slid under his arm and looped the limb around her shoulders. "Would you like me to notify the others?" Aya directed a low-grade energy burst to her boots and lifted them into the air.

"Put me down," Razer growled, "I'm still capable of fl--" He sized up when another wave of pain hit. "Okay, just this once. And no need to alert the others..."

Indigestion, really? He knew that blasted shroom was not to be trusted! He had to wonder though, why his ring didn't neutralize the poison...? For a moment, a chill ran down his spine. Was he- going to die like this, writhing in pain on an infirmary bed instead of falling in battle...? His grip on Aya tightened involuntarily.

"A-aya, come in... Where are you?" Hal Jordan's voice was alarming. He didn't sound well.

"Green Lantern Hal Jordan, I am currently en route to the Interceptor." As an AI, she did not have the capability to lie, but she was not prevented from leaving out unnecessary information. She lightly clinked down on her feet at the landing ramp, and despite Razer's earlier objections, she forced him to lean most of his weight on her as they moved to the infirmary. "Your voice sounds strained. Is there some sort of trouble?"

She was able to guide Razer to a cot. After briefly muting her communicator, she turned her bright eyes to him. "I need to perform a full-body diagnostic, and then I must administer some medication. For your comfort, it will be best if you remove any unneeded covering."

Razer merely nodded. It was a good while since he last felt this weak and sick - years in fact. He began to fight with the belt of the robe - thank Heavens he was wearing something under it...

He was tense, waiting for the pain to strike again.

"I think we might have a bit of a digestion problem..." Hal had the nerve to still laugh. "Kilowog has rather strong stomach cramps and I-- Uh, I think I'm running quite a fever. The Pookas also complain of some ache... But they don't seem to be as affected. How's Razer? Is he alright?"

He was not disrobing efficiently. Aya rested one hand against Razer's shoulder blades and used the other to deftly untie his sash. "Razer has not complained of any pains, however, my readouts suggest that he too is suffering from similar symptoms."

In the background, she could hear Hi-Ju's voice: "But I made it the same way I always do!"

She slid the robe from Razer's shoulders, then started on the shirt he wore underneath. Once she'd peeled it away from his whipcord frame, she laid him down and slid a blanket over him. "Once I have administered a mild sedative to Razer, I will locate Green Lanterns Kilowog and Hal Jordan."

"Can I talk to her? Er-- Aya?" Hi-Ju sniffled, then spoke up. "We'll bring them your way. Just have some cots waiting."

"Understood, Green Lantern Hi-Ju. Thank you."

With the communications severed, Razer held up a hand. "To be honest, I was also in pain. We're obviously poisoned though at least it seems more like an accident than a murder attempt." He placed his hand on his forehead and winced. "Side note, I don't wish to be sedated. I'm plenty calm despite the looming threat to my life."

"My biofeeds indeed indicated that you were experiencing a great deal of discomfort, however, you never expressed that you were in any pain." She brushed her fingers down his cheek. The skin was hot. "The sedative is intended not to provide calm, but to alleviate most of the discomfort."

Aya picked up a small needle, holding it at ready while she swabbed his arm with disinfectant. "If this is indeed the result of food poisoning, you might experience nausea as your body attempts to purge itself. I do have access to medicines that will ease these symptoms, however, I believe it is best to allow your body to function as intended." As she injected the sedative, she looked down at him with a small frown. "At your request, I will do everything in my power to assure you do not suffer. I can anesthetize you for the course of this illness if that is your wish." She laid the needle down. "I find it greatly disconcerting to see you in any pain, Razer."

"Wait until the others are here, then you can worry threefold..." Razer muttered. The sedative worked quickly, relaxing him a little, though the fever persisted. "And if it's more poison than food, I could be dying, you know." He freed his arm and rested it on the cot. "Run scanners and take a blood sample if necessary. I don't fancy just waiting and being miserable. It'd be preferable to locate a sample from the dishes, too... just in case." Yes, he was paranoid and the fever wasn't helping.

She ran another scan and found that though his temperature was elevated and his blood pressure was a little higher than normal, Razer's body was functioning properly. She did not understand his concerns.

"It is not in your personality to do so, but I would like to request that you place your trust in me." Aya laid her fingertips over his eyelids and leaned down to kiss his forehead. "I will not let anything happen to you."

At that moment, Green Lantern Hi-Ju hailed her from the ground. Aya stroked Razer's forehead one last time before lowering the ramps and going out to meet her comrades. "The medical wing is this way."

Hi-Ju had her arm wrapped around Hal, and behind her, three dancers supported Kilowog. "Something was wrong with the Crystal Caps," the Pooka lamented, "But they tasted just fine when we found them!"

Aya helped Kilowog to the larger cot, finding that he too was suffering from high fever. "You said that the Crystal Caps are not native to this part of space. Perhaps this is a species different than what you are accustomed to?"

"Must be. No one feels very well right now.." Hi-Ju laid her ears back as she pulled Hal Jordan's legs onto his cot. "I feel terrible. They were supposed to be a treat."

"They did taste kinda awesome..." Hal groaned from his respective corner of misery. "It's okay... don't blame yourself."

Kilowog groaned an affirmative from where he was curled up, arms over his stomach and wincing from pain. "R-rings should... fight it... off--"

"They're also reacting noticeably stronger than us," Hi-ju pondered. "Want me to help with the scans? I'm responsible for this, and I want to make it right." She also seemed a bit uncomfortable, but she held her ground.

"Any assistance would be appreciated." Aya moved to Kilowog and helped him from his robe and shirt, then carefully injected him with a bit more sedative.

Strange. Razer hadn't made this much noise.

She repeated the process with Hal, then moved to her scanners. "Green Lantern Hi-Ju, it appears that you are also in some pain. If you would like to lay down--"

"No, no. Let's see what we can do." Hi-Ju stood beside her, her determination quite obvious. "Start with whoever had symptoms first..."

\---------------------------

Per her insistence, Razer was confined to bed until his fever broke. His body was recovering faster than expected with the Red Lantern ring to strengthen him, however, he was still not back to his full capacity, and quietly suffered lethargy and loss of appetite that he must've thought she wouldn't notice.

She found it amusing that he forgot who he was dealing with.

Aya took a seat beside his bed, back straight, hands in her lap, unblinking gaze focused on his form. He had expressed interest in her findings, so she intended to share them until he fell asleep. "This strain of Crystal Caps contained a high count of inert spores, which cause a mild allergic reaction in those species unaccustomed to their consumption. Green Lantern Hi-Ju was instrumental in making this discovery, as she personally searched through the remaining fragments of asteroid until she found one last mushroom.

"I was able to perform a detailed analysis of this fungi and uncovered a minute difference in mass, thus leading to a dissection which proved the difference in species.

"Green Lantern Kilowog's appetite has returned, and while Green Lantern Hal Jordan is not at full strength, he too has made ample work of the Pooka's local cuisine-- minus the Crystal Caps, of course." She paused and smiled minutely. "Which leaves you, Red Lantern Razer. According to my research, your appetite should be returning shortly, however, it can be encouraged by a favorite dish. Is there anything that you prefer over other sustenance?"

"After this ordeal, I'd be the happiest if I never had to eat again..." He was bristling, more insufferable than ever, crossing his arms and frowning. Aya identified the expression as a 'pout'. It looked oddly endearing on him.

"You know me. I like meat. A nice good steak, though I suppose it wouldn't go easy on my stomach right now. Bread, water and that boiled grain the Pookas so love would suffice I suppose. Maybe with some mild-tasting fruit."

She laid her fingers over his lips. "Your wording suggests that you are more concerned with convenience than preference." Aya slid her hand over his too-warm forehead. "I find it highly improbable that bread, water, and grain is anything that a non-Pooka would crave. Please allow me to help in your recovery, Razer."

He was silent and his eyes slowly closed. He looked like a child with his ruffled hair; a little troublemaker who finally decided to obey mom.

"I was... always fond of sweets," he confessed, pulling his shoulders up a bit, as if in shame. "Cakes and pies. With some fruity filling. Those were my favorites."

Her expression softened. "There is an abundance of fruit available. My database suggests that a pie would make the best use of the accessible resources." Aya dropped her hand to his shoulder. "Would this be acceptable?"

He looked like he was about to protest, but he eventually just sighed. "Yes... that would be nice. Thank you for your concern."

For an inexplicable reason, her central energy level spiked, causing her skin to glow faintly like it had when she was near a Blue Power Ring. She was overcome with the urge to make a wholly unneeded sound like Hal did when he managed to annoy Kilowog to the point of an outburst. She swallowed it back, however, and merely bowed her head. "Please rest, Razer. I will return shortly."

She dimmed the lights in his chambers, and on springing steps, performed a quick scan to locate Kilowog and Hal Jordan. They were just outside the Interceptor and moving away fast.

"Green Lanterns." She used the propulsors in her boots to catch up to them. "I have an inquiry."

Hal turned around, eyebrows up. "Uh, sure?"

"Which local fruits would make the best filling for a pie?"

\----------------

Her processors were about sizzling from anticipation. She glided to the ramp hugging the plate to her chest as if she were trying to smuggle something on board. This was perfectly illogical, but Aya, odd as it may have sounded started to get accustomed to feeling like that. She rushed to the common room and laid the plate down, pulling the white cloth off its top. A perfect-looking pie was revealed, still warm but not hot, just ready for sampling.

She picked a recipe from her seemingly all-encompassing database, gathered half the ingredients then asked Hi-Ju if she could let her into her kitchen. The Pooka gladly agreed and offered her assistance but Aya politely refused. It was important that she made this herself.

Following the instructions meticulously seemed to have provided the perfect outcome. She was still a little worried about it; Hal Jordan and Kilowog had rather different tastes and couldn't agree on what would indeed make the best filling. Aya decided to try both. Now if only it pleased Razer, too...!

"How’s it going Aya- woah." Hal stopped in his tracks entering the common room. "That thing looks like a picture from a gastro-blog! Where did you get it?" Behind him, Kilowog sniffed the air. "Something smells... fancy."

She also held a small, rounded knife, provided by Hi-Ju-- according to the recipe, she should cut a slice with this sort of knife for proper presentation. "Greetings Green Lanterns Hal Jordan and Kilowog. I have prepared a dessert in order to assist Razer in recovering his appetite."

He seemed ashamed to be fond of sweets, so she did not mention that he'd indirectly asked for this.

Hal's face fell. "You mean we don't get any?"

"What! Why can't we have some? We're still a little sick too, you know!" Kilowog looked offended.

Strange.. These men seemed to become rather childlike when in the presence of sweets. She would have to investigate further.

"This is intended as a treat for all." The boys' faces lit up again, and they crowded around her. "I was hoping you would sample a piece."

That said, she began to cut into the pie.

But the knife would not penetrate the dough.

With a frown, she moved the utensil a bit to the left and tried to cut, but again, the knife would not make a slice. "Ah... Green Lantern Kilowog, would you make a slice with your ring?"

He obliged, and she ended up with a triangle of pastry slightly larger than she'd intended. The fruit grubs were shriveled inside, yet the berries and lychee didn't seem to have changed much in appearance. Odd-- the recipe stated the other ingredients should have soaked into the fruit!

No matter. She had followed the instructions exactly, so her success as a baker was assured. She held up two plates more for Kilowog to fill, then waited for the Green Lanterns to take their first bites. "How does it taste?"

Both of the guys were eyeing each other, waiting for the other to speak up. Finally, Jordan took the task upon himself.

"Mm-mmm...!" He swallowed. "It's very... unique!"

Something crunched between Kilowog's teeth. "Rather... unusual, but... intriguing."

"I'm sure it has a place in the world of intergalactic cuisine."

"It's bold and piquant."

Both Lanterns grinned widely and nodded. "Razer's going to be surprised," Hal promised her.

"It's nice that you made this all for him," Kilowog agreed enthusiastically.

That energy surge coursed right into her chest, nearly pulling her up off her feet; this must've been elation. "I am pleased it is to your liking."

She held out one more plate, gesturing for one of them to cut another piece. They set their plates down in near-tandem, then bumped each other trying to get to her first.

"I got it, Hal."

"Oh no, Kilowog, I -insist-. Why don't you finish your pie?"

The sergeant made a strange face, but once he caught Aya looking at him, he smiled broadly. "Oh, uh... Of course! It's so..." he picked his plate up and stabbed his slice with a fork until some of the dough broke off. A berry rolled out from the filling, and when he tried to pick it up, it sagged into mush. "..so good..."

He continued smiling as he crunched.

Aya nodded toward them. "I thank you. Help yourselves-- I will make another if this one runs out."

She stepped into the crews' quarters and made her way into Razer's quiet, dark room. Unwilling to disturb his rest, she took a seat next to his bed, holding his food neatly in her lap.

Outside, Kilowog scooped the pie from his mouth and shuddered. "I'd rather eat my lantern."

"She tried real hard, I didn't have the heart to tell her," Hal lamented. "All things considered, it's not even that bad, I mean, the dough tastes good if you can chew it, and the fruits are just overcooked and the spices blend rather... horribly.” His shoulder sagged. "Razer will be put to a test."

"Either he swallows like a good boy," Kilowog shrugged, "or he'll make sure Aya never attempted cooking again. Win-win situation, I must say." He gathered the plates. "I'll bury these somewhere outside."

\-------------------------

Razer was a warrior, fierce and well-trained; somehow he sensed her presence and was waking already. How strange.

His eyes slowly opened and Aya could detect a smile passing over his lips briefly. Seemingly lazily, he shifted and sat up, running a hand through his hair and tilting his head to the side. "Can I help?" He caught the lingering scent in the air.

"Something smells like pastry here. Sweet pastry."

"Your olfactory senses are functioning normally." She felt that surge approaching again, one that threatened to cause strange behavior in her extremities if she wasn't careful. She would need to run a diagnostic once Razer had eaten. "Here, I have brought this for you."

Aya held her creation out to him, which was still steaming slightly--she was certain that this characteristic would be appealing. When he took it, she offered him a fork.

Razer sniffled the pie and frowned a little. "That's a little odd..." He attempted to break off the crust, but it didn't yield at first. The look of disdain on the Red Lantern's face deepened.

Finally, he managed to get some pastry on the fork and cautiously tasted it- just to freeze and spit it out the next moment.

"What in the Void is this?!" he demanded. "I knew they were out to poison us! Whoever made this deserves to be strangled with his own guts! This isn't food, this is a disaster!"

Her central functions suddenly ceased. All the surging and lightness dropped out of her center like her processors were fried all at once.

Her vocal components reeled in an attempt to force a line of inquiry, then rapidly changed to try and voice surprise, then tried to... She didn't know.

Aya stared at him with only a trace of this inner turmoil on her face; her eyes were widened slightly, lips parted as she let him continue.

"Crust is rock hard, half the fruits raw, the other half overcooked and the spices don't even match them! Nobody who has a sense of dignity and worked in a kitchen would let something like this come out of their ovens! This is a joke! Whichever blasted Pooka made this for you, either he's a complete imbecile or he tried to mock you and I'm going to wring its furry neck for that!"

There was nothing her database could come up with that could amend the situation. She hurt. Honestly, truly hurt. It was a pressure at the base of her neck that heated up toward her chest, then coiled in her abdomen so tightly that she wanted to gasp in pain.

She made no noise, however. She should have been fascinated to find that she was able to experience non-physical pain, but Aya instead wished she didn't have to.

Disappointed. Perhaps that was what she felt.

The AI's head tilted down, as her ocular components were experiencing difficulty in interpreting visual stimuli. She felt hot wet threads on the tops of her cheeks, which rolled down parallel with her mouth, then dripped steadily onto the backs of her hands.

She did not understand. Why did Hal Jordan and Kilowog enjoy the dessert, while Razer did not? As she replayed their interaction in her memory banks, she realized that the Green Lanterns praised her work, but their body language suggested something different entirely.

They did not like it either, and that made the tears come faster.

They also registered on Razer's scanners, finally.

"No, Aya, don't cry!" She could cry--? "It was a cruel joke they pulled, just because you can't taste things. I'll go and beat the--" There was a brief flare of red flames around his body, then his shoulders sagged. "Except I obviously can't, but I certainly would like to! Come on, don't take this on your heart." He wiped away a teardrop with a thumb. "I'll make sure Hi-Ju hears about this. It's not how you treat guests."

It took a moment for her to understand that he was now attempting to console her, turning blame from her to her perceived tormentors.

With great reluctance, she forced herself to admit: "You are mistaken, Red Lantern Razer. I assembled the components of this dish and followed the instructions indicated by the recipe." More tears came, streaking down her viridian skin and pattering against the metal plating on the backs of her hands. "I performed this task on my own. The failure is mine."

"The what--?" Razer's eyes widened as he processed the information. "You-- made this? On your own? For... me...? Ooh, crud." He deposited the plate on the next suitable surface then rubbed his face.

"I actually should have known. Aya, I'm so sorry, I did not intend to hurt you!" On a sudden impulse, he turned a little and wrapped his arms around her.

"Forgive me, I know I said horrible things but-- I truly appreciate the concern you show for me. Please don't think me ungrateful. And please stop crying."

She did not comprehend why, but she sank into his chest and hid her face. She felt shame. She felt disappointment. She felt sadness. Her only intent was to bring happiness to Razer, so perhaps he would recover and become her angry Red Lantern again. To have failed him was worse than allowing the Interceptor to fall into ruin.

"I will stop," she said, pressing her hands to her eyes and rubbing the tears away. "Thank you for being honest. To have eaten poorly-cooked food would only exacerbate your condition."

"Stop thinking about my condition." Razer helped with the tears. "I'm actually hungry, and I crave something substantial. Don't be too hard on yourself. I know you followed the recipe to the letter. It's just, some things require certain expertise. Some things you need to taste in order to use them well. Then again--" He drifted off for a moment then smiled. "I remember seeing somebody cooking without actually tasting it. She asked me to do that for her. So while you might not be able to prepare food on your own, I bet you could do splendidly with a little help. No harm in asking for assistance."

His words had the strange effect of untangling her frenzied processors and stopping the flow of tears. She no longer felt that ache of sadness, as everything he said made perfect, logical sense.

"Very well. Red Lantern Razer, will you assist me in preparing something palatable?" Aya looked up into his face; her own was neutral, but her voice held a bit of excitement. "I wish to make something that you will enjoy."

He smiled, a genuine, fond smile tugging at his lips. "I suppose we still have a few hours before we leave."


End file.
